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Was what to do when dating an alcoholic was

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. You may know someone or be dating someone who is in the beginning stages of alcoholism. The experts say that alcoholism is a progressive disease. When someone with an alcohol use disorder continues to drink, the symptoms become more apparent and more numerous, until it is finally obvious to almost everyone that they have a drinking problem. But, they did not always display all the obvious symptoms. They were alcoholics long before they lost everything and ended up in the street.

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Dating an Alcoholic

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When Someone You Love Is an Alcoholic or Addict Many of the things people do to help an addict or alcoholic are counterproductive and actually can make things worse. Listen to the experience. Having an alcoholic in the family is difficult. Having a friend who is an alcoholic is difficult. But dating an alcoholic is more difficult. It's not entirely their fault: alcohol has taken control of their body and they can't live without it. Withdrawal symptoms will keep them drinking even if they want to quit. Signs That you may be Dating an Alcoholic. If you think that you may be dating an alcoholic then there are certain signs that you can look for in their behavior. These signs do not necessarily mean your dating an alcoholic but they are indicators that he/she most definitely has a problem with drinking and may well be alcohol dependent.

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What to do when dating an alcoholic

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Dealing With Addiction In Your Relationship - How To Deal With An Addicted Partner

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Jun 20,   Dating an Alcoholic. If you came here for a love story, you're on the wrong page. I'm going to talk about the last 3 years; dating him, being engaged, and gaining enough strength to end it before he had the chance to hit me for the millionth time. The good, the bad and the ugly. For story purposes, let's call my ex-boyfriend Zach. Alcoholic husbands and wives may be emotionally distant or abusive. Emotional abuse includes threats, insults and controlling behavior, according to the Office on Women's Health website. Dating a Functional Alcoholic. It can be difficult to tell if your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner is an alcoholic. Being in a relationship with an alcoholic is perhaps the second worst thing after being an alcoholic yourself. It seems you are dealing with a person with two faces, who when sober, seems genuinely repentant but when under the influence of alcohol, is a stranger .

I stayed in this place for 14 days in total but never felt home sick. If I have to say in one word- Very kind people with typical southern hospitality. Meet millionaire men at MillionaireMatch. Identify the problem However in order to know whether your date is indeed an alcoholic, you will have to be able to identify the symptoms.

Among the earliest signs which indicate that you might be dating an alcoholic is that you always seem to meet in a bar and there is a lot of alcohol involved in your dates. Another indicator that someone has a problem with alcohol is if they can't just have a drink or two.

If they have to actually keep drinking until the point of inebriation and beyond. If you're in a relationship with someone who's always drinking, drunk or drained from drinking the night before, chances are they have a problem with alcohol. If you are living with such partner, you will be able to identify definite behavioral changes at home and at the workplace.

Decide what to do Once you have recognized the symptoms that confirm that your date has a drinking problem, there are two things you can do. If you have just started seeing this person, you can move away. Educate yourself Read up as much as you can about alcoholism.

This will not only help you understand better the causes and circumstances which draw people to alcoholism but also make you aware about the various ways to help your partner conquer his or her addiction. Even if your attempts are not successful, you would know where to seek help for yourself as well as for your partner. When an alcoholic or drug abuser reaches a crisis point, sometimes that's the time the person finally admits they have a problem and begins to reach out for help.

For those who love an addict, it is very difficult to sit back a let the crisis play out to its fullest extent. When addicts reach the point in their substance abuse when they get a DUI, lose their job, or get thrown in jail, it is a difficult concept for their loved ones to accept that the best thing they can do in the situation is to do nothing.

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It seems to go against everything they believe. Unfortunately, this causes the cycle to repeat You don't have to create a crisis, but learning detachment will help you allow a crisis-one that may be the only way to create change-happen. Make no mistake about it, alcoholism, or alcohol dependenceis a primary, chronic, and progressive disease that sometimes can be fatal.

You are not a healthcare professional, and even if you are, you should not carry the responsibility for treating friends or family members.

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You are not a trained substance-abuse counselor, and again, even if you are, your role should not be a counselor. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again. That's the alcoholic's responsibility, not yours. You can't cure a disease. No matter what your background happens to be, you need outside help.

Alcoholics usually go through a few stages before they are ready to make a change. Until an alcoholic begins to contemplate quitting, any actions you take to "help" her quit will often be met with resistance. Even though it is not your responsibility to "cure" your loved one's alcoholism, you may be interested in knowing some of the things that make drinkers want to stopas well as some of the things which get in the way of an alcoholic getting sober.

You may wish to consider a family intervention. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

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There is a joke in recovery circles about an alcoholic in denial who screams, "I don't have a problem, so don't tell anyone! If family members try to "help" enable the alcoholic by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into the alcoholic's denial game.

Dealing with the problem openly and honestly is the best approach.

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Accepting unacceptable behavior usually begins with some small incident that family members brush off with, "They just had too much to drink. You slowly begin to accept more and more unacceptable behavior. Before you realize it, you can find yourself in a full-blown abusive relationship. Abuse is never acceptable. You do not have to accept unacceptable behavior in your life.

Sep 12,   And when you are with an alcoholic, you are used to suffering in silence as the martyr, wondering why the alcoholic does what s/he does. I wasted years of my life wondering why. I've come to realize it doesn't matter. Running would have taken courage. It would have said, "He cannot do this to me. I am stronger than this. I can do better."/

You do have choices. It's important to protect your children from unacceptable behavior as well.

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Do not tolerate any hurtful or negative comments addressed towards your children. These comments can result in lasting damage to a child's psyche. Protect your children, and don't hesitate to keep your child away from someone who drinks and does not respect your boundaries. Growing up in an alcoholic home can leave lasting scars. One problem of dealing with an alcoholic is what might seem like a reasonable expectation in some circumstances, might be totally unreasonable with an addict. When alcoholics swear to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop, you might naturally expect that they are sincere and they won't drink again.

But with alcoholics, that expectation turns out to be unreasonable. Is it reasonable to expect someone to be honest with you when the person is incapable of even being honest with himself or herself?

The key to dealing with alcoholism in the family is staying focused on the situation as it exists today. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It doesn't reach a certain level and remain there for very long; it continues to get worse until the alcoholic seeks help.

You can't allow the disappointments and mistakes of the past to affect your choices today because circumstances have probably changed. Often, well-meaning loved ones, in trying to "help," will actually do something that enables alcoholics to continue along their destructive paths.



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3 Comments

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    Grolabar

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