Understood 17 year old dating 13 year old wrong have
Ok so this guy is 17 and this girl is They have been going out for a couple weeks now. They are like in 'love' with each other. Is it wrong with that big of age gap? Does age really mean anything? To most older people they will say yes that is a problem when in all reality if they are married most of them have an age difference.
It's basic accountability. She's of age, which goes both ways. And maybe 3. What to do about this? You should try to stay close to both of them or at least her so she has you as a confidante, a trustworthy person - i.
You cannot expect to be successful in digging around behind her back anyways. So, support her, make sure she knows that you are there for her, be truly happy that she found someone etc.
You can try to pull the guy into the family; i. Make those relaxed events, not "tests". If and when you see signs of danger; then you act, with decisiveness.
By supporting her, confronting the boy, and so on. Aside from that, you have precious little leverage, and being negative about it upfront will likely spoil whatever "power" you have in the situation. I heard stories from my parents: when he took her home after a date, it was her bedtime she was in high schoolso she would retire to her room.
But he would stay on with her parents, playing cards sometimes late into the night. So, her parents my maternal grandparents got to know Dad as a friend and potential son-in-law, through their own play-dates, not just from whole-family gatherings. But things were different then - she was trained by her mother to be a housewife and was not expected to go to school past 12th grade. Her own mother only went to school through 8th grade, which was normal for girls at that time.
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So, it seems to me that the issue isn't the difference in their ages, so much as that she's too young in this time to have a serious relationship that could be potentially long term. A younger man would realize that they both have further life changes, but he might already be on a career track. But that depends on the career: he might still have yeaes of school and internships ahead, too!
So maybe they are closer together in terms of life stages, than implied in the post. It is perfectly reasonable for you to be feeling anxious about the well being of your daughter. Age differences aside, she is moving into a life of her own. Training wheels are off and she is going out into the world. There's always something you could find to be worried about as a parent.
If it's not age difference in the guy she's dating, it could be something else. I'm concerned that she'll get hurt, pregnant or that even if they are truly in love that she'll end up growing up too quickly and miss out on what girls her age do, university, traveling building a career.
The risk of being hurt in a relationship is universal. I don't think that is any more or less likely due to a mildly larger age gap than might be expected of a young woman. There are certainly couples with a larger age gap who are happy. There's really no guarantee and she just has to live through her own relationship experience. As far as getting pregnant, throughout human history, nay mammalian history, females have served an integral role as mothers. It's a relatively recent and perhaps even baseless assumption that she will be happier pursuing university studies and a career.
What is there to worry about her missing out on or that she will grow up to quickly if she finds a fulfilling life as a mother, just as many women have throughout history? Yes, even those mothers who are young by modern expectations can have a very fulfilling life.
But all of the studies showing stay at home moms are happier and all of the examples of childless women who pursued their careers and ended up with regrets really don't mean anything when it comes to what will be the best life for your daughter.
There must be something seriously wrong with the 24 year old if he/she wants to date a 13 year old. No its illegal and the 24 year old will go to jail. Asked in Teen Dating. Why wrong. what could be wrong. my only only regret in life was that I didn't date a 17 yr old, when I was After I 'got off with ' him at a party. thought he was too old for me. I think I thought he would want to do things I wasn't sure if I was ready for. Then I went for years and . 17 year old girl and 24 year old boy GIRLS - Would you rather date a younger or older guy? 16 and 21 year old: is it ok? a 15 year old girl+a 21 year old guy in love? do you think 16 year old should date 21 years old Not being attracted to girls my own age
She may find that she wants to pursue that university and career path after all. Either way, if you are going to adopt the modern outlook on such things, you are going to have to accept that it's entirely up to her to choose her own path in life. I know the real concern.
You don't want to end up taking care of another newborn! Well, provided her partner has his life together, you could be a proud grandfather. Hopefully they are responsible enough to plan such a thing without any surprises. But if she gets pregnant and it doesn't work out, he's in a far worse situation than she. It's in his best interest to not get her pregnant because these days a man can lose all of his parenting rights and every penny he makes in such a situation.
It's certainly cause for hesitation. Maybe it would put you at ease to remind him that family courts most certainly will not be on his side and gauge how sensible he is when it comes to responsibly having premarital sex with your daughter.
He does seem a very sensible person, he owns his own successful business although still living with parents. It sounds like they have something in common. Hey he could be a lot more mature and experienced than the guys her age.
It could very well be much worse. Unless there's some specific cause for alarm, I can't see anything to worry about here any more than if she were dating a guy who is I got together with my current girlfriend when she was 16 and I was Not AS big a difference, but a significant enough of one to be a concern for myself as well as it took a long time for me to be truly sure her parents approved.
Sep 26, Its not bad im 17 and im dating a 13 year old but we started when i was 14 and she was 10 you just have to make sure like our relationship its thought about carefully like no sex or sexual actions until she turns 17 or in my state 18 or even better until marriage. Let's say someone is 13 and is dating a year-old. Is it wrong? There's a little trick to tell when the age difference in dating gets icky. All you have to do is take the older age, in this case, 17, and divide it by two and add 7. 17?2+7 is
It was rather awkward for me to ask about it, as you'll understand, but it would have saved us all quite a bit of a headache if we had opened this conversation from either side.
The core reason I didn't go around my girlfriend to ask her parents this was mostly out of respect for her autonomy. She was "old for her age", and in the end it turned out her parents had never expected differently from her. Reading some of the other answers, I think everyone is pushing too much advice onto you and as a parent you already know much of what they are saying. Become closer to her boyfriend and carefully insert yourself into his life.
Have a conversation with your daughter about her excitement and experience instead of voicing your concerns. Make it about sharing what she is going through and what her fears are. Reassure her that love is not something to be afraid of. Tell her to embrace the intensity of her emotions so she can always remember these feelings. Begin placing responsibility onto your daughter that keeps her involved in her own family's life.
For example you can decide that Sundays she must help you to cook so that you can pass on your tricks to her.
Are They Too Old/Young for You???
Go with her to do STI screenings and teach her that one must always keep getting checked regardless of monogamy and commitment.
It's just good habit. You already sound like a great parent so just continue being that. My first love was 14 years older than me and I can tell you that your concerns are justified. If he begins to mistreat her or you see any signs of emotional abuse then you can put your foot down in a loving and parental way. Her boyfriend and his family should be well aware of this fact.
Things are above-board and within bounds, it seems. If you trust your daughters judgement and maturity then you can ration your concerns or reserve them for indications of the pace of progress in the relationship.
Relative age difference will diminish quickly over time. I don't have much else to add but I would bring you to note that age is not just a chronological number. There is biological age and your mental and emotional age to consider. The specific circumstances in your daughter's instance might not be out of order.
Your daughter is in a high risk, but also high reward situation. You can't and shouldn't prevent the relationship, but you should set some ground rules to minimize the risks, and maximize the rewards.
I am reminded of an old American story of a year old girl who chased and won a year old military officer, who later became a General, William Westmoreland. At an early age, she had latched on to a "winner," and her life was made. I see a possibility of that happening here. It's comforting to know that the young man "seems a very sensible person, and owns his own successful business.
If he is also "honourable," and this is the key, he will protect your daughter. If this is the case, "the game is worth the candle. The main thing is to set some standards. First, that "protection" is used for all physical activities. Second, that she keeps track of where the relationship is at all times. Third, that she comes to you for help and guidance if she ever feels that she's in over her head.
Adolescent girls are more mature than guys by several yearsin the late teens and early 20s. So the eight year difference in ages may be more like four or five in maturity.
It could be that two people who are both unusually mature for their ages "found" each other at a young age. If that's the case, they will be more compatible over the long term than either with other, more "random," people closer to their own age. It's also possible that one or both of them senses this. As parents, I wouldn't stand in their way, but I would "stand by" for possible trouble.
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17 year old dating 13 year old wrong
Asked 3 years ago. Active 3 years ago. Viewed 70k times. Tom Au 1 1 silver badge 7 7 bronze badges. Please use comments for clarification, not tangential observations or answers - use Parenting Chat if you want to discuss! Sorry, I don't understand your point, "I can only think he's with her for one reason! If you're not a native English speaker, that phrase "for one reason! Fattie, I am not a native speaker, but isn't that contradictory to OP: "he must be thinking about starting a family, marriage, etc and her starting out in life.
It contradicts the premise. Based on the logic, it shows that "Reductio ad absurdum. Active Oldest Votes. For instance: You have knowledge of the guys work and living situation.
They presumably live close You have another set of parents you can communicate with. You KNOW about the situation. It's not a secret. So don't panic. It's not exactly wrong, but it just feels weird to some people because in teenage years you change so much, but I won't say it's terrible.
Very wrong!!!!! I could see if she was 15 or 16, but 13?
Answer Save. Jake Snapp. Favorite Answer.
Good luck. How do you think about the answers?
You can sign in to vote the answer. Source s : I tend to like younger women but would never stoop that low. Thats pretty bad, lol. Still have questions? Previously Viewed. Unanswered Questions. Is it wrong for a 13 year old to date a 17 year old? Anonymous No its illegal and the 24 year old will go to jail. Asked in Teen Dating Is it wrong for a 14 year old girl in 9th grade to date a 13 year old guy in 8th? No, it is not wrong for a 14 year old girl in 9th grade to date a 13 year old guy in 8th grade because the age difference is so small.
Weird and wrong? It is not legal for a 13 year old to date a 19 year old. The 13 year old is a minor and the the 19 year old is an adult. I am seriously in love with a 13 year old girl and i am 15 and i really need help on wht to do.
Technically, that'd be 17 1/2. But the issue with the age rule is that it doesn't take into account the maturity difference between an 18 year old and a 21 year old. A 25 year old shouldn't be dating a 19 year old. The rule's just an arbitrary justification for dating someone you know is too young for you. No, it is not wrong for a 14 year old girl in 9th grade to date a 13 year old guy in 8th grade because the age difference is so small. Asked in Teen Dating Is it wrong for a 14 year old boy to. Whilst the people I go on dates with are somewhere between (I use an app that allows you to configure this) and I'd be very cautious at dating anybody younger, I wouldn't necessarily draw the line at dating a year-old if they seemed mature (and that's something exists .
Yes, a year-old can date a year-old. Whether he should is another question entirely. Asked in Dating, Teen Dating Can a year-old date a year-old? Yes, a 13 year old can date a 16 year old, but they can't have a sexual relationship because that is illegal. Asked in Dating Can a 13 year old date a 14 year old?
Yes, really. All above told the truth.25.01.2020|Reply